somehow I don't feel sorry for you
can't correct you
can't think that weeping would make any difference
somehow you've melted down
there was nothing there after all
but pieces of shrapnel you wished you weren't.

stripping it all down,
my mind is anesthed
my memories are numb and fade just like any one would want.
and
she
is
always
the truth,
more than I am.

What she loved most was pretending that her life was not
profane.
She would smirk at me
most days
in the morning
she would pretend not to drink coffee, not to swear, not to be the girl she was
she was clean, in her mind
never tainted, the way she she spoke to me
glaringMOCKINGlaughing
but she was a broken broken thing
pursing her lips together and always looking so sophisticated in blonde
I love her and I hate her
I want her to fight back
I want her to leave the room and know Grace.

but she's so cold in her state.